Ok, well, now that we have that out of the way, and I can declare myself the undisputed FIRST poster on this blog (not like you had a chance anyway) we can move onto other, much more important things.  Such as the contents of my ashtray and which of the butts is longest.

In all seriousness though, I’ll try to blog regularly about gaming.  This might include gaming reviews, play guides, rants, and whatever else I feel like going on about in a round-about manner using words to express myself in the most openly public manner possible (i.e. by way of blogging).

Before I begin, however, I need to get a few things off my chest.

First, I loath blogs.  Well, more accurately, I loath bloggers*.  Blogging is like a really long-winded version of twitter (which I also despise).  People in the world seem to feel that whatever floats around in their vacant skulls is interesting enough for an unimaginably vast audience such that the internet provides.  All manner of ineptitudes exist in the great digital beyond, all of which are subject to criticism by an infinite number of illiterates with a penchant for using internet slang for words like “you”, “are” and “for”.

Which brings me to my second issue.  If you, my dear reader, are one of those Great Unwashed, then GO AWAY.  I desire neither your cretinous comments, nor your moronic opinions.  If there is one thing that disgusts me more than the faceless masses of idiots that use twitter, then it must be illiteracy.  If you cannot distinguish the difference between “they’re”, “there”, and “their”, then you are NOT WANTED HERE.  Seriously.  Just click the little ‘x’ in the top-right corner and take your idiot-self outside where I encourage you to fling yourself into oncoming traffic.

Despite all of that, I write here because I love video games.  Games are my life: I live them, breathe them, dream them.  I cannot remember a time in my life when games were not at the forefront of my thoughts.  I can honestly speculate that my need to talk about them here, in a blog (of all things) is probably due to the fact that my girlfriend (who I love and adore) is my anti-thesis.  I have no social outlet for my gaming experiences, and thus, here I am.  Spewing my every thought to an unwashed mass who probably cares as much about what I have to say as I do about their opinions.

Anyway, if you do decide to return, then I hope you enjoy what you read and would appreciate whatever comments or criticisms you have to make, so long as they’re cohesive, intelligent and literate.

*Note: I recognize the irony of saying so in a blog — the very medium being criticized.  However, I enjoy my own blog quite a bit, whether or not I fit the description of the very people I claim to detest.  So there.  Neener neener.